The kitchen in my new apartment is pretty dirty and old. In fact, let's just say that everything in my kitchen is dirty and gross and old. The sprayer hose that was attached to the faucet head was missing its little handle. Also, the faucet itself looked like it was on its last legs. So I thought, "Hey. I'll unscrew that shit, soak the faucet in CLR, and replace the hose." I looked at a billion online videos and got all my supplies together. I sure as hell had never done anything like this before, but I was ready. Or so I thought...
So I crawled under the sink. The first issue became apparent. I didn't have the type of wrench that could remove the faucet bolts. So... I had to go to the store and get a basin wrench. Yes, spent money on a basin wrench for this one-time task. So there I was, under the sink. Flashlight in my mouth, twisting my arms all around awkwardly to fit, trying to get a grip with this stupid basin wrench. First bolt off, yes! Second bolt... took a while, but got it off! Also got a lot of chipped, gross-ass sink dirt in my mouth (which I couldn't shut, because it was holding the flashlight). Now all I had to do was disconnect the water lines. I turned both valves off, then proceeded to try and unbolt the lines from the faucet. Cold water... took a while, but done! Next, going for the hot. It was difficult to get a grip, as the faucet had all 3 inputs (sprayer, hot, cold) SO close together. Terrible, terrible design (says the non-engineer). So I start to unbolt the hot water... and water starts to gush out onto my face. I panicked. WTFS, didn't I turn off the valves? I reached for a bowl and stuck it under there, but the water was trickling down all the other pipes and dripping onto the cabinet bottom. Since I had just moved, I didn't know where any of my towels were. But I DID know where my clean laundry was, and so I proceeded to shove clean shirts and pants under the sink.
Still panicking, but thought: "If I can get the hot water bolted back on, it will stop." But I couldn't reach it with the wrench without spraying the water everywhere. I stuck my hands under the sink, and felt around to try and tighten it by hand. Turned the bolt left, turned it right. It seemed that no matter which way I turned it, the water just came gushing out even more. Grabbed some plumbers putty to try and clog the gap. Was too wet; the putty just kind of disintegrated and fell off. I looked at the hot water valve and cursed at it. WTF! I HAD TURNED IT OFF. I turned the valve left, then right. Didn't notice any difference. Apparently, the valve was broken. I didn't know how valves worked, and I didn't want to make anything worse. So I called security. Oh yeah; had to remember to put on a goddamn shirt, because I had taken mine off to try and wipe up the water (NOT SEXY AT ALL).
Couple guys come up to my apartment. They looked under the sink. The one guy starts turning on the cold water valve (the line was disconnected, so water starts coming out of the cold water tubing). I'm like "Dude, turn that off that's not the problem." He looks at me and kind of laughs. "You American?" "Yes..." "You from CA?" "No... New York." "And you can do stuff like this in NY?" "No, I... this is really the first apartment that I've rented. I just wanted to clean the faucet, that's all." "Well, that's how renting works; you agree to use stuff like this, but not touch it." Didn't I feel like the most retarded person in the world. He kept telling me over and over that if there was any water damage on the next floor down, my landlord would have to pay.
Since the complex wasn't in charge of this stuff, they called the plumbing service of choice. Told me to wait for the plumber, and left. I'm thinking over and over, "If my landlord finds out, I'm SCREWED. They'll never trust me again; and all my plans of cleaning and replacing old hardware... maybe it's all for naught." The plumber finally gets there... pops off the hot water valve cap, and turns the valve off with a wrench.
I had to pay $200 for the guy to do this. Something that I could have done if I had just known how to pull off the valve cap. While he was there, I had the plumber put the faucet back, as well as install the new hose. Soaking the thing in CLR or vinegar wasn't going to happen. Plumber noted that the hot and cold water lines were swapped, as far as how they were attached to the sink, but he couldn't attach them the right way (cold to cold, hot to hot) because the tubing was TOO SHORT. Then he goes to test the newly-installed hose, and water sprays out both the faucet and the hose (the water is supposed to stop coming out of the main faucet when the sprayer is on). Janky-ass, dirty/old faucet with swapped cold-hot and a half-ass sprayer. Yep, that's my fucking kitchen faucet.
Luckily, I was able to pay the bill and keep the invoice (so as not to have my landlord know). I also lucked out in that (a) I was able to contain the leak enough to not let it damage the floor below and (b) the plumber was available 24 hours (did I mention this all happened @ ~10:30pm?). So the plumber leaves and I'm $200 short, sweaty/dirty/wet and trembling. I take all of my wet/dirty clothes that were used to soak up the water and hang them up in the bathroom shower. Flakes of dirt and grit are falling off of them. So gross; now I have tons of laundry to do.
Maybe I'll give cleaning the faucet another shot when I get to cleaning the sink. But I sure as hell am not going to detach anything again. Maybe I can ask my landlord (nicely) to replace the faucet... given that it's a piece of junk. I'm sure she'll say no, but in some sort of ambiguous way that's not as direct as "no".
